Please kill me.

Why do we allow a tired and withered old man to represent us? Is this really how we want the world to imagine us?

Well, maybe not quite like that, but you get the idea. Old Uncle Sam is a cliché that needs to die a quick and painless death—right bloody now.

America needs new representation. We need somebody who depicts the way America looks and feels today. We need someone other nations will see and say, Yep, that’s America. And I think I know who that someone is, ladies and gents. Care to know?

This, gentle readers, is the new and true face of America.